Prayer

Oh I am never as good as think I am, God my Father, thank you for your constant and patient overlookings. I do wrong almost as often as I breath, I am the farthest thing from the angel that I sometimes think I am. But even when I am unaware of truly how low I am among all other creatures that roam the earth, you build and break up all about me that must be fixed and freshened. Thank you for the white houses on green slopes of grass, the vineyards and the mountain peaks and the lamplit evenings for reading – despite the woman that I am, you bless me like I am an angel, fit for the heavenly river banks where I am resting and breathing deep of your sun-warmed oxygen. When you call me up to my feet again, force me to climb higher, to push deeper into the undergrowth, and not to turn the places of rest you give me into the end of my work and journey. That yearning which wearies and saddens me – why is there no one who holds and can look into my heart here? - do not let me resent it. Let me treasure the empty part that eats at my mind and spirit, and let me be round with thanks for the vapor that my time is, because it will always draw me to you. It will always remind me that I have only taken a spoon to my digging of mystery from the Universe. One day I will join You where you are dwelling outside of time, and because I know this, I can glory even more in the blink of Your eye that I am. If this sliver of a second is as beautiful and blessed as it is, if it fills me up and leaves me content on the river bank, how much more will I dwell in peace at the oceanside of Your palace? My God, you are so good to me. Even just the rainfall is such a full kiss on my lips!